Hello Blog, nice to see you. It's been a little while...

So, nothing worth saying here. I say it all on twitter now, in small bite-sized morsels of thoughts instead of thoughtful diatribes. Confounded thing twitter is, it has stolen me from my first love.

I shall return my beloved,... I shall...

"She's out of my life"

Shes out of my life - Michael jackson

[1st Verse]
She's Out Of My Life
She's Out Of My Life
And I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life

[2nd Verse]
It's Out Of My Hands
It's Out Of My Hands
To Think For Two Four Years She Was Here
And I Took Her For Granted I Was So Cavalier
Now The Way That It Stands
She's Out Of My Hands

[Bridge]
So I've Learned That Love's Not Possession
And I've Learned That Love Won't Wait
Now I've Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

[3rd Verse]
She's Out Of My Life
She's Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Her Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life

*sob*

Trying out the new SMS text blog option. Here it is.

"When yella will be mella... when white will embrace what is right"

I didn't realize that's what this presidency was about for some people. Not a chance for freedom but a chance to get even, with words, actions and I- told-you-so's. A chance for racism to thrive still more. A chance to get a stab at 2 entire races that are both present in my blood. I'm doubly offended. I never cracked a whip and I never dropped a bomb (speaking in regards to Pearl Harbor). Yet I'm chastised twice in one inaugural benediction as delivered by Rev. Dr. Joseph Lowery.

I've spent a good portion of my young adult life trying to slice through a black vs. white perception. I was 5 years old in Marrero, LA when my friend from down the street suggested to me that I wasn't allowed to come out and play because he was black. I said to him defiantly and assuredly, albeit confused, "No it's not, it's because my mom's mean and she doesn't let me do anything." But he was convinced that because he was black I could not come out that day. He was 5 and his worldview was already skewed. I didn't even know what racism was until that day, in fact, I didn't even know that he was considered black until that day. And frankly neither did he, not personally.

Since that day I took it upon myself to impart an air of equality to black people, not because I didn't feel that black Americans were equal, but because others perceived inequality. In my mind, racism seemed to keep itself alive within our own perceptions, therefore making it our own realities. I chose to be obstinate to the popular opinion, not to feel sorry for anyone and make them feel different by treating them special because they were black, but to argue the thoughts of those bent on the idea that racism very much exists every time that they walk into a gas station to buy gum.

You can't tell people that though. A racist America is something some people have held on to so tightly for so long it's as though it's their own prized possession. Almost as if it's some sort of fact of life or something especially unique to one color of person. As if it's their birthright. Yes, it is true, different colored people look at each other - differently. Not only different colors but different accents and dialects. But that's normal in being a human being. It's not racist if a guy dressed up as a thug, who for all intents and purposes associates himself/herself with a life of crime, walks into a gas station and is closely surveyed to prevent a theft. If that same person walks in dressed as the average working class American he/she would not even be considered a threat.

Racism, real racism, scary racism is thriving in some pockets of our country. The kind of people that long for a day when black people are treated as animals, as it was a 130+ years ago, or the type of people who wish to avenge their enslaved ancestors exclaiming blacks are the most powerful race. They should all be herded together as cattle and forced to learn how to read, or something equally as horrible to such small minded individuals.

[This leads me to a footnote thought: It seems as though the word "racist" automatically begets a white/black connotation, at least here in America. Much like the word pill or "the pill" refers to birth control. Hmm...]

For the most part though, a majority of American people, white and yellow, have been screaming, "Hey, I'm really not racist!! I never have been and never will be! I can think for myself, you should try it!" And I think they spoke the loudest in voting for a President, not because of his color, but because he was speaking their language, addressing their needs and color was not even considered. Yes, he is half black, but he is also half white. His blood is as much a part of mine as much as it is a part of theirs.

His upbringing is even likely more similar to mine than that of, say, Jay Z or Young Jeezy who both issued incendiary, hate-filled rhymes that deal with Obama coming into presidency in an almost I-hate-white-people-look-out-now sort of way.

Which is what this rant has been all about. It's ALL of the American people that are victorious. Not "especially black people". This election has most definitely been about transcending racial barriers. That is undeniable. But not just black/white racial barriers, remember, no "yella" man, no red man, NO colored man has been in that position as American president either.

And remember this as well, which our liberal socialist media has failed to highlight, Barack Obama IS just as much white by blood as he is black. And he is probably more white in the way he was raised than he is black. I don't think collared greens, black eyed peas, and fried chicken were a staple in his household.

So my question to you is, how can we, whether we are yellow or we are white, black brown or red, laugh at something like this as if he's some cute old man making a cute old joke?

How many of you disagree with that racial sentiment, more interestingly, how many of you agree?

"[It's been] A long December and there's reason to believe...

...Maybe this year will be better than the last."

2008 2009

Wow, what a year. Is it just me or does everyone say that when they reflect on the past year? It seriously feels like I have grown and even aged a lot this past year. What with all the vicissitudes of my emotions, finances, relationship and even job status, it's kept my head reeling and spinning almost the entire year!

I feel a calm now for some reason. There is always something so relaxing to me mentally about the 1st date of January. It brings me great relief, great hope and great expectations.

I started a business online, it needs lots of advertising for now to be successful but the cost of advertising versus the profitability in a 2 week test run were not promising. I have done this before however and have been successful at it with NO money. I just need to get this site positioned so it can be found organically on the search engines. Google Ad Words are just way to expensive for now. There are a host of things that I have done and am doing to get this idealistic position but I have yet to see the fruits of my labor. The busiest time of the year for my product line starts in a couple of weeks so maybe the money I put out in advertising will be returned more quickly then.

Anyway, sorry to bore you with that, in other news, I will be moving to Verizon this year and getting a car. As most of you might remember I sold my SUV last summer and didn't get it replaced right away. Well I still don't have one. But I plan on purchasing a piece of dirt this February, which may turn into March if I get the new Blackberry Storm in January.

Well I hope you all have had a great couple of months. I haven't posted in forever and apparently haven't been missed too much ;). I look forward to hearing from you guys and will be catching up on what you all have been up to.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love from me! Good luck this year! Hope you got all the presents you were wanting! What did I get for Christmas? My computer back! haha.

Thank you all...

Thank you all who have been so sympthetic and supportive during my current plight. It's so very sweet and is felt from all the way across the waters. Believe it or not each one of your input has helped me tremendously.

Sometimes just to know these types of things are normal for all people and not unique to just me make me feel better.

I am at work so I just wanted to write a quick note of appreciation to all of you for your support, your kind and thoughtful words, your concern and your birthday wishes.

Thank you all!